Don't say "OK"

Sorry friends, I know it has been awhile since my last blog, life happens! But there is one little word that has shocked me out of my brief retirement. The word by itself may seem innocent enough but it can be the start of a big mess. I hear parents adding it to the end of almost all of there sentences when talking to their child, it sneaks its way in as a question and allows a child to believe they have a choice when a subject my be non-negotiable ....... ok.

"Mommy has to go to work now,ok?"

"Daddy will play with you after I finish feeding the baby, ok?"

"You have to hold my hand when we cross the street, ok?"

The immediate response from a three year old to all of these questions is normally "NO!" And I don't know about you but holding my spirited three year old daughters hand across the street is non-negotiable, so why ask, "ok" as if she has a choice in the matter. I am all for giving age appropriate choices when the options are something you can live with but some things shouldn't have wiggle room. You are just setting yourself up for an argument with a child.

A lot of the time I think parents mean to say, "Did you hear/understand me?" but why not just say that? Or even have them repeat back to you what they heard you say. My kids also know the meaning of, "non-negotiable." On the flip side sometimes there is wiggle room and you can ask them to "convince me."

All I am suggesting to my fellow parents it that you become aware of how often you add "ok" to the end of your sentence. Do they have a choice in the matter or not? Mean what you say, thats all and trust me, many of the little squables you have had with your child will go away just by leaving out that one little word......ok?