"You did it!" vs "Good Job!"

Funny, but many of the comments I got back from my last blog, "You Did It!" were from people saying "Good Job!" to Chase. Funny because I have been wanting to write a blog about the over use of that phrase and this seems like the perfect opportunity. I know our loved ones mean to express their congratulations to him and for that I am thankful. My advice however is to parents.

When we say, "good job" to our children we are really only telling them our opinion of their behavior and that we are happy and not really giving them the strength to build their own self esteem and be proud of themselves. For example, your child comes to you and says, "Mommy do you like my painting?" You could say, "yes" and they would walk away happy but not fulfilled. Try instead saying, "Oh, tell me about your painting, did you have fun making it?" The purpose is not for your child to learn to please others but to be proud of themselves.